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2006/7 Tables

Team 5 Archive - Nov

Notts V 1 Asbo – (p.f) v L’boro Town IV (a.k.a L’boro University V) 2

25 November 2006

Humphries, MacDuff, Hillier, Hannan, Burd, Keating, Bett, Abbott, Stedman, O’Keeffe, Weston, Cursham, White

Absent without excuse

“Chopper” Cunningham

Scorers

MotD – Asbo

TotD –

Asbo – sloppy passing

GO’K –loss of toys

Chopper – just not being there

Robin just couldn’t get the radar right and score-

“Beau” Stedman - A heinous shove under the umpire’s nose and being presented with the first yellow card of the season!

Mentioned in despatches

Robin Weston

Duncan Burd

Ben Hannan

Ed Cursham

Loughborough – now I was trying to provide you with a little historical and cultural information about the place and all I got was:

“Loughborough is situated in the Borough of Charnwood, in the county of Leicestershire, in the region known as the East Midlands, it is an old town, mentioned in the Domesday book of 1086”.

Oh and by the way it has a university.

University days – believe it or not I actually went to one when I left school at 18 – which will be about 6 years ago – and I was thinking that our opposition have it made with their wet and dry astro pitches. Back then the equivalent of the all weather pitch was “red gras” (hope that is spelled correctly). For those of you that remember this was a most abrasive surface that took no prisoners when you fell over on it. It was like sandpaper (coarse) – knees, hands – all parts were fair game. It reserved its best work for the stick. Yes we did use the Indian head and not that scythe like contraption known as the English head. After a season on that surface your very expensive stick (cost £10 (plus VAT)) was worn away to nothing. How some people managed to hit a ball! 

So we arrived at the university expecting a tough game. This after all was L’boro Town IV’s. However when this group came out on the pitch for the warm up, clearly what we had was University V’th XI – including a Ronaldo look alike with 2 large stud earrings in each ear. And they looked quick, fit and skilful. It would be a tough game.

However, our form over the last few weeks meant we were reasonably confident of giving them a good game.

The tactics were simple – run at them hard and don’t let them get in the game.

True to form that is what we did with lots of play in the half and several chances – no goals though. The eventual first half goal came when Robin after a hard fought run was brought down in the D and the MIPP had to give the penalty. Now I get nervous at moments like this having seen many England penalty shoot outs end in disaster. Asbo however lined it and slotted the ball home.

up and that’s how it stayed at half time.

The start of the second half saw a full on attack by L’boro. Clearly we had rattled their cage in the first half. Spirited defending kept them at bay but then the MIPP, who up until then had had a reasonable game, gave a short for what was clearly a foot by them. Mr Burd was beside himself and received a “bit of a talking to” – “I call it as I see it” said the MIPP.

So a short was taken and horrors – the ball was topped – and it bobbled over Ollie and through me. The shame of it! 1-1.

There followed a period of intense that saw two yellow cards (one being Tim (see below), some failed attempts at goal by and unfortunately the winning goal from open play.

Yes we lost 1-2– however this was a fine team and they are not third placed for nothing. The positives are that I genuinely believe that we rattled their cage for most of the match. This level of effort and commitment has been there now for the last 4 weeks and I hope it will continue.

I was pleased to see that the mid-field played their part and did not leave the backs stranded.

If I have any criticisms it would be that we are still holding on to the ball too long and not looking for that easy pass. It is also a problem that we don’t seem to be able to convert our chances when presented. 

Everyone contributed to the match. Ben H – defended well at the back. His confidence is growing and I’m sure it will not be long before he gets a try in a higher XI. Duncan B (“OK ya!”) playing left mid- very skilful and more than a match for his opposite number. Robin – as usual lots of effort with speed and skill – got round their full back with regularity – just couldn’t convert. Ed after getting rid of the jet lag was unlucky not to convert.

However, the MotM award goes to Asbo – I felt that the level of commitment and skill (apart from one or two “fluffy bunny passes”) really kept us in the game. The defining moment was the conversion of the penalty, under pressure.

The TotD award was difficult as you can see from the crossings out above! However, I settled on Tim. That was not a smart move to shove the player in the back under the umpire’s nose and not expect to get away with it – even though the player made a bit of meal of it with the Maradonna act.

On a final note, we say good bye to GO’K, who has feels compelled to seek his fortune at Belper. Graham, if you read this, I can sympathise with what you did – but I feel you are doing the wrong thing. That said I wish you well with your new club and we look forward to clashing with you in the New Year.

Well done everyone and see you next week.

18 November 2006 Notts 2 v Beeston 1

Humphries, MacDuff, Hillier, Hannan, Burd, Keating, Bett, Cunningham, Abbott, Stedman, Willott, O’Keeffe, Weston, Cursham, Oliver

Manager in charge of rotations: Mr Phil “the Young 1”

Scorers - James (“the Poacher”) Bett -2; MotD – Robin Weston

Mentioned in despatches

Mark Keating, Ollie Humphries, Ben Hannan, James Bett

First I must make an apology for the quality of last weeks report. If my old English master at prep school read that drivel especially the poor spelling, he would have turned in his grave. So this week I’ll turn the “spoil chocker” on and try and do better.

So it was on a late Saturday afternoon, that I drove to Goosedale. It was that dark that the lights of the pitch were like beacons drawing its victims like moths to a flame. It is said that pilots use the pitch floodlights as a reference on the final approach into East Midlands.

Why am I going on about this – well a 5.00pm start (17.00hrs on the 24hr clock) for starters. What sort of time is that – its well past my bed-time and for one of us (GO’K) it interfered with the Panthers game and hence we only saw him for half a game (you still owe me half match tax by the way!!). We do seem to get the short straw on home games.

To the game – this was going to be another tough game. Beeston V are a young side, technically proficient and no doubt a number are destined for higher XI’s. So the tactics were simple. With a squad of 15, the rotations, under the control of the Young 1, would be frequent as everyone would be required to give 110% effort.

The game was presided over by that formidable duo – Mr Mike Allen and Sir Don Nettleton – it was going to be a hard struggle!

The first decision was what colour ball to use. It seems that one of the Beeston players is colour-blind and a request for a white ball was made to which Mr Allen said he wouldn’t be able to see it – no change there! However there is a point – a white ball at night on that pitch – sense had to prevail and we played with an orange ball.

The game started off at a brisk pace with Notts having most of the play. Then as is the case with us, sloppy play and poor defending at the back resulted in a goal. This is getting to be habit forming!

The equaliser followed shortly after. A great run by Robin resulting in pass to the Poacher who converted the shot from the back of the D – this is becoming habit forming.

A period of steady play ensued – we saw the introduction of Mr Cursham – looking a tad out of match practice following his recent 2 week safari.

The second goal came just before the half with another short corner converted yet again by the Poacher.

2-1 at half time represented a good effort from the team.

The second half started with Beeston applying pressure that opened up the backs and only some great saves from Ollie kept us in the game.

We had many opportunities to score in the second half – Robin with a solo effort saw his shot go wide – Ed with his instinctive nose for a goal found the goalie in the way.

The final whistle and a much needed 3 points.

We played well and as a team. In fairness to Beeston it could have gone either way – we applied pressure and got breaks. Another day and it could (and has) gone the other way.

If I have any criticisms it would be that we are still holding on to the ball too long and not looking for that easy pass. Also I felt that the mid-field were not coming back soon enough to support the backs on the breaks. Ollie was shouting until he was hoarse to get you back. Let’s work on that please – the mid-field are the engine room and need to be at full pace. 

Players to get a mention today were Mark Keating – a fine effort at sweeper snatching the ball from the opposition in that distinctive manner; Ben Hannan – played well at left back and was an effective thorn to the right wing; the Poacher – simply because of his goal scoring abilities and Ollie because of those fine saves.

However, the MotM award goes to Robin – his speed and skill were again evident and set up several opportunities for us.

The TotD award was difficult to give away this week as everyone played well (despite Tim’s dubious passing in the second half). However I hear from a reputable source, none other than the Young 1, that GO’K was observed practising his short corners with Asbo and several air shots ensued. No doubt he was trying for that most difficult of shots – “the topped shot” – the one that bobbles along the ground and totally confuses the goalie and eventually finds its way into the back of the net. However, as I wasn’t there to see it, the mug stays in the bag.

Well done everyone and see you next week.

On a final note, Giles Hulme called last week to say that the operation had been a success and that he is looking forward to starting again in January. Now he then proceeded to give me the gory details which I will spare the more squeamish amongst you. Suffice to say it brought tears to my eyes as the legs crossed. Something to with wire mesh and MDF. He is presently doing some light exercise but would not go so far as to say whether it was of the horizontal variety. So Giles, as the world has recently dropped out of you bottom you may want check if all is present and correct and if you count any more or less than 3 then go back to the doc and get your money back!

 

Notts V 3 v Belper V 1

11 Nov 06

Scorers - O'Keeffe - 2, Bett -1

Team
Humphries, Hannan, Hillier, Burd, MacDuff, Keating, Bett, Cunningham, Abbott, Stedman, White, O'Keeffe, Weston

MotM - "Chopper" Cunningham

TotD - "Beau Brummell" Stedman

Mentioned in despatches
Asbo
Hannan
Hillier ("The Motivator")
Weston

Belper - the gateway to the Peak District. Best known for its mills (it was awarded world heritage status for its special place in the hidtory of the Industrial Revolution), the Strutts (not some form of illness but the mill owning family), the Nailers (Belper FC) and a water based pitch stuck out in the middle of know where.

From Nottingham it is a place you have to via - Derby,Alfreton,London,Leeds. For those of you who have had to do this journey there is no direct route but plenty of options. Our route today took us through the village of Heanor, one of the last places that god farted on. You don't put your hand out of the window for fear of losing your watch.

With a little help from the GPS we arrived at Belper Meadows, as windswept and desolate as Goosedale on a training night.

You must forgive me for having this view of Belper but it has not been a happy stamping ground. Two years ago I was able to experience at first hand (or was it finger) the application of that basic rule of physics -"for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction". A hockey ball lifted at speed hit my stick. Unfortunately a finger was in the way and of course there can only be one winner. I believe I permitted myself a small "ow" at the time. I was then asked to leave the pitch as I was in danger of making a mess of it.


Enough of this.

This game was going to be important as a win would move us out of the relegation zone. We needed a fully fit and totally committed side. So it was something of a surprise when Asbo informed us that he would be benching after spending all night talking to god on the big white telephone after eating a dodgy vindaloo. Despite his weakened condition we were treated to the usual motivational speech that we have all got used to - "pass the ball", "hit it". However the one comment that did come through and was taken on board was "don't hang on to the ball".

Belper eventually turned up and drew a comment from Mark White - "they're just a bunch of kids". this did not go down well as their skipper -the venerable ancient mariner (wearing a bandana) was in ear shot. The more PC amongst us would have said a mixture of age and experience, contrasted with the Notts V's who are just a mixture.

The game started well for us with significant domination in the first 20 mins in their half. Even Ollie was getting bored as he normaly has had to save 3 or 4 by now. However despite some great passing - even G'O'K could complain - and several attempts at goal we couldn't convert. Belper regrouped and a second short corner - after what looked like a dubious decision against The Motivator (which I subesquently found out to be correct - one up to the umpire!) - they scored.

Now at this point I have to bring in the other MIPP ("Man in Pink Pullover"). This was a no nonsense guy with a liberal interpretation of dangerous play. All insubprdination was punished - viz - GO'K -shake of the head in the D - 16 yard hit; Tim - "What was that for" - 10 yards. You get the drfit?

So when a slightly lifted ball travelling at great speed towards my hand - which it eventually hit (bringing a flashback to 2 years ago) causing a minor expletive "ow" - the expected whistle did not come. Enter Tim "Beau Brummell" Stedman - "Wasn't that a bit high umpire?" "You have the ball I am giving you the advantage" came the reply. "But our player is in agony - look" (I am shaking my hand wandering what is going on). at this point play has stopped - to "Are you all right player?". "Only when I laugh ump?" came the reply. A free hit was taken with my faith in the MIPP shaken!


The second half with the same level of intensity leading to short. Now I realise that I have criticised The Poacher about the speed and accuracy of some of his short corner injections in the past. Today I am happy to report that he was spot on. Straight to Mark Keating and a perfect top hit from GO'K that bobbled past the keeper. Had him totally confused! GO'K was happy ending a fairly long gaol drought for him.

The defining moment of the game came when Asbo (who had recently just had a multi-coloured yawn) decided "I'm coming on". in the true spirit of Churchill ("We'll fight them on the beaches etc!") proceeded to lift the tempo. A pass to Robin - that veritable hare - a run down the right a cross to the D and a top D conversion for the Poacher! Based on past performances not normally a place he scores his goals from.

All this excessive activity prooved to much for Asbo and he had to retire again to the back of the hut.

Our third goal, which really sealed the game came again from open play and was converted by GO'K. - what a happy bunny - no toys thrown out today.


Final whistle - a deserved victory 3-1.

Despite the ramblings there were some positives that came from the match. The passing was good and it was accurate. The level of commitment was good, we wanted to win the game.

Everyone had a good game so the MotD was going to be difficult. Robin again showed great skill and speed - he will be missed when he leaves, the Motivator stopped a potential goal threat at a crucail time. However, it was eventually awarded to Chopper - he had been threatening for the last few games - but today had an excellent game -despite toadying up to the umpire in the second half!


I could not leave the TotD mug in the bag for another week. The award this week had to go to Beau Brummel for persistent wandering from position leaving his man unmarked - a most heinous crime!

It was a good win and takes us out of the relegation zone.

Well done everyone - a tough game next week - see you then.

 

 

Nov 2nd Team
Green, MacDuff, Hillier, Burd, Hannan, Cupitt, Abbott, Cunningham, Stedman, Bett, White, Brittain, Weston

Nottm 4 Sutton C 2

Scorers -
Bett -2

Brittain -1
Stedman -1

MotD - Tim Stedman
TotD - Alan "AB" Buxey

Mentioned in despatches
James "Poacher" Bett
"Chopper" Cunningham
Asbo
Rob Brittain

The eagerly anticipated top of the table clash did not get off as smoothly as expected. The writer, having already informed the team the previous Saturday that the fixture time of the game was 16.30hrs, received an email from the fixture secretary on Monday that the time had changed to 17.30hrs. By Friday night having been told by the opposition that the start time was 16.30hrs, frantic phone calls were required to get the team to turn up earlier. Fortunately they did apart from Robin. It turns out that Asbo contacted him about the the change but forgot to tell him the new time. All of which gave the writer a conundrum as to who should receive the TotD mug. After much consideration and having spoilt my Friday night "AB" wins it by a country mile.

Which brings us to the game.

I hoped that the form we produced in the WB game last week would carry over to this game. It was going to be a tough one as Sutton had not lost a game to date.

The game started well and we had most of the play in the first half with some fine crosses into the opposition "D" from Rob Brittain. How we failed to convert these I fail to understand!


The first goal came from the right and if I'm not mistaken was slightly aerial. However with the skill that only comes from being a class act Rob Brittain deflected it into the net.

The only other incident of note was yours truly clearing a ball at mach 2 straight into the instep of the oncoming player, who went down like sack of potatoes. This was sufficient to render him useless for the rest of the game. Asbo was quick to provide helpful advice about the directions to the QMC - having himself been the recipient of a similar injury last season. The odds were slightly in our favour 11 v 10, Sutton having failed to bring an extra player.


Towards the end of the half Sutton sneaked a goal to make it level.

We expected Sutton to go all out on attack at the start of the second half and indeed they did. Our counter attacks were just as effective and a series of short corners followed, of which two were converted by the James Bett, rightly justifying the nickname "poacher"!


I would point out that the speed and accuracy of the injections left me under-whelmed at times -time to get the radar right!

Sutton pulled another goal back to make it 3-2 however their fate was sealed when smashed a ball from the top of "D" into the back of the net - thereby ending his 2 year goal drought!

Overall the team played well and in the light of our past perfomances we deserved the 3 points. The level of committment from all players was excellent and it certainly helped having Rob Brittain for the game. We hope to see him again!. Tim's performance again won him the man of the match.

If I have one concern it is that our love affair with holding on to the ball too long and not releasing it early continues. hopefully we can work on this in the forthcoming matches.

Well done team - enjoy the moment and see you next Saturday.


 

 

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