new 4ths Captain
Mike Kaye

Edge 1 Nottingham 0

MJK
Team 4 pulled up at Brum University to take on an Edgbaston side who were in the bottom quadrant of the division. With Cursham and Stedman augmenting the side in the absence of Gallagher, Young and Sissons, it wasn’t that the team was any weaker. Just different.

This was a game played out under the backdrop of the Gladstone Clocktower, a splended red brick structure that dominates the leafy Edgbaston campus. And what a strange, silent game it was. An impartial observer would probably have concluded that Nottingham were the better team: the ball was being moved round rather nicely, the midfield were edging it and the defence were up against a limp wristed attack.

And yet there was something lacking. The aviation fuel tanks at Buncefield, which began exploding yesterday morning, hold 3 million gallons each. The 11 men of Team 4 were not lacking fuel – with Rogers, Byrne and Cursham up front, they had a forward line more than capable of unsettling the opposition. Unfortunately, they were missing the internal combustion so frequently provided by the missing trio.

There is something magical about an ignited fart – the anticipation as the flame moves towards the sphincter, the intake of breath and the resultant “Ooooh” from the captivated audience at the circle of blue light that dances like a will-o-the- wisp round the rusty bullet hole, make it one of the more impressive of party pieces. Unfortunately, the team were lacking their spark, the ignition was missing and the result was a flatulent performance, a series of trumps but no follow through. There was some action – several bottom burps went off at both ends of the pitch but mostly it was a wet fart of a game, with neither team able to touch cloth. Let alone the backboard.

And so we reach the half way point. Points have been dropped, games lost that should have been won but, overall, Team 4 have demonstrated that they can more than hold their own in the Prem Div. Opportunities to settle old scores will make it an interesting second half but, for now dear reader, I’m going to enjoy the four week break.

In the meantime, and with an eye on 2006’s restart, here’s a poem that was written for the Club Supper, a wee ditty that I think sums up much of what Nottingham Hockey Club is about, whichever team we play in. Merry Christmas, gents. Poem.

mjk

DL
Bit of deja vu as we found ourselves on the Birmingham Uni astro again. But Edge were a different proposition from the callow uni lads. In fact, they were very similar to us and even had a Phil Youngesque player both at the back (and at centre poke); they had a good eye for the ball and cut out any hopeful balls played through them. They even had a player who looked like Jason B, but the consensus was while his hair was longer, it wasn't in such good condition.

Our styles were so similar, it wasn't a surprise that the game stayed goal-less until the last three minutes of the game when Edge stole it sneaking in on the far post to a hard-driven hit in. Whilst Edge squandered a plethora of short corners to our one, the game was fairly evenly balanced and Notts could have easily won it had the finishing been on target or a stick connect to one of the crosses that sped across the D.

In the end, it was just one of those games that you sometimes lose.

It's probably no coincidence that we have lost some tight games when Andy G has been missing. We also need to define man-to-man marking as opposed to the zonal style currently very popular in the Barclay's Premiership. But overall, a good first half and thanks from all of us to our beloved leader who is a walking positive ................... (add in your own noun).

Report: DL

And by popular demand -
Captn Kaye's last report from the archives. Leek 12th November
Bridg victory (DL) - Bridgford 26th November

League Updates available at MRHA